How to talk to your family about therapy when it’s taboo.
“Why do YOU need a therapist? ?Acaso tu estás loca? (Are you crazy?)”
How to overcome the fear of being judged and stay on track with your own goals towards well-being when you begin therapy - especially if your family responds negatively and skeptically.
Intro
Seeking therapy is a brave and courageous step towards healing, prioritizing your health, and making time for your needs. Yet, it is often a secret many keep from their families. It can be hard to face the stigma often associated with therapy in many cultures. Many people often tell me their families will not understand, they will be perceived as weak, or will be shamed for “airing” the family's business, which is intended to stay private.
Ironically enough with time, my clients begin to get feedback from loved ones about how much happier they seem, or how they appear to be more calm, or how they “look” better and “less tired” because… lets face it, if you're from a community of color, someone is going to comment on your looks. We can discuss the appropriateness of that in other posts but for now this often brings up the question:
Do I “need” therapy? Should I tell my family about it? And if so how do I tell them?
It’s your choice and your choice alone!
Sharing your mental health information is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer. If you feel that sharing your personal journey with others will be met with support, encouragement, and healthy curiosity then it will be helpful to have this support system in your corner as you begin treatment and seek to surround yourself with people that believe in your goals and desire to grow.
However, if you feel that the news will be followed by criticism, blaming, or instill doubt about your decision, these are steps that can help you navigate your decision to seek help and this oftentimes difficult conversation. Read below.
Learn more about mental health and the benefits of therapy:
It is not your job to teach others, but it is hard to feel confident in your narrative if you are unsure about why you are doing something. Sometimes the best first step is to begin informing yourself on symptoms of mental health diagnosis, evidence based treatment and options. It can help to begin to see the results for yourself as testament to the realities of therapy instead of what you have heard growing up. It may also be good to have a sounding board for how the conversation may play out and engage in coping ahead.
Recognize that you do not have to be struggling to receive support:
Many times people question initiating therapy because as a whole they feel “okay”. They may feel guilt for asking for help when they are managing their day to day lives; and at times may be told by others that they do not “need” support. You can be proactive about taking care of your mental health and preventing symptoms from worsening.
I often encourage people to think of what you would do if you were diagnosed with prediabetes or borderline cholesterol. Would you start to change your diet, increase your physical activity and follow the recommendation of your provider? Or would you just wait for the diabetes to progress? For most they answer is simple “Of course I would make the changes”. Why shouldn’t mental health and well-being the regarded in a similar way?
In Conclusion
If you are beginning to struggle with managing your emotions, have noticed increased reactivity to stressors that you previously managed differently, or are not feeling as connected as you normally do, you do not have to wait for a crisis or for symptoms to worsen before seeking help.
Knowing this can help you feel confident and counteract the belief that only “crazy” people seek help.
